What... (i.e. camp, dance class, birthday party)
        
 
Pick a NYMetroParents Region: All Regions   Manhattan    Brooklyn    Queens    Westchester    Rockland   Fairfield    Nassau    Suffolk  

Resources

   

DR. JANET TAYLOR: CAN I KICK MY ADULT KIDS OUT OF THE HOUSE?

     Home  >  Articles  > CHILD RAISING
by Dr. Janet Taylor

Related: adult, kid, child, parent, advice, sandwich generation, house, kick out,


My adult child is back in the house... As parents who love their children, do we nurture them or push them out of the nest? This is a question on many parents' minds as a growing number of adults are finding themselves in The Sandwich Generation -- caring for both their adult kids and aging parents. It can weigh anyone down and be a burden financially and emotionally. So, when your adult child comes knocking on your door, is it okay to kick them out?

Watch Dr. Janet Taylor for how parents should best handle adult children who've overstayed their welcome:

 

Can you kick your adult kids out of the house? Well you know, it's really interesting. Now we live in a time where as parents we've raised our children, they've gone to school, gone to work, and even come back home. So we're faced with this dilemma of, especially mothers who are always mothers, do I nurture these kids? Do I have a place for them? Or it's time to push them out of the nest?

Now we're at a time when our adult parents have parents who are living longer; so there's this sandwiched generation. They're taking care of their older parents and then their adult children come back home. It can be a strain financially, it can be a strain emotionally. There's this real conflict: Do I still actually love my children if I'm telling them I liked my space as an empty nester? Do I want them home anymore?

So to answer the question: Can I kick my adult kids out? Absolutely! You can kick your adult kids out. And sometimes that's the only way to do it. It can be gradual, where you can sit down and say, listen, we agree that you could come back here so you could save some money, get restarted, or you've gotten divorced, you're having a hard time at work, have lost your job. What's the timetable? Are you going to live here six months? Are you going to live here a year? Eighteen months? We can support each other in other ways, but you really can't live here.

So I think it really depends on the relationship that you have with your adult children, remembering they're adults even though they're your children. The reality is that at some point we raise our children so they can be self-actualized, independent and really take care of themselves. Sometimes you have to push them away or say, that's it. No more. Otherwise, they will stay there for a long, long time.

 

Dr. Janet Taylor is a genConnect.com expert helping couples navigate the challenges of relationships and parenting. Dr. Taylor is a psychiatrist in private practice in New York City and a clinical instructor of psychiatry at Columbia University affiliated Harlem Hospital. She's a frequent guest on the "Today" show and a contributor for many outlets including O, The Oprah Magazine.


Get Your FREE Indoor Activity eGuide!

More CHILD RAISING Articles

How to Teach Kids to Separate Food and Feelings

Tips to Help Improve Your Child's Reading Skills
Helping Your Tween Transition to and Navigate Middle School
When Quitting is the Exact Right Thing to Do
What Will I Do This Summer?

Be a good fellow parent and share this with a friend who would be interested
Email Friend

Local CHILD RAISING Sponsors

Nannies Across America
877-626-6978
Nanny's USA is nationally recognized for its signa...

Garrie Pest Control
312 Washington Street
Peekskill, NY
914-737-8309
Garrie Pest Control LTD Owned by Bill Ayres and Al...

Carmel Academy
270 Lake Ave.
Greenwich, CT
203-863-9663
Carmel Academy is a forward-thinking private schoo...

The Hagedorn Little Village School, Jack Joel Center for Special Children
750 Hicksville Road
Seaford, NY
516-520-6000
The Hagedorn Little Village School, Jack Joel Cent...

Summer Spot Day Camp (The)
34 Kings Highway
Congers, NY
845-512-8270
The Summer Spot Day Camp - where campers experienc...
See Our CHILD RAISING Directory

local zones

Nassau

Nassau cont.

Suffolk

Suffolk cont.

Westchester

Westchester cont.

Fairfield

Rockland

Rockland cont.

Queens

Queens cont.

Brooklyn

Brooklyn cont.

Manhattan

Copyright 2014 NY Metro Parents Magazine Site Design: THE VOICE