Teaching Kids to Manage Valentine's Day Expectations

For some kids, Valentine's Day can be more of a disappointment than a sweet celebration. Help your kids put things into perspective and deal with their V-day heartaches with these five tips for managing expectations.
 

On Valentine’s Day there are many red hearts, lots of chocolate, and no shortage of roses and stuffed animals. However, despite this, every year I find that for many kids and teens, Valentine’s Day is more likely to bring tears and disappointment than to elicit smiles.

In many overpowering ways, retail businesses such as jewelry stores, flower shops, and greeting card companies perpetuate the expectation that Valentine’s Day will be a wonderful and magical occasion. While most adults are able to separate the hype from reality, kids and teens may not yet have developed this skill. They approach Valentine’s Day hoping and expecting that they will find love, receive an expensive or romantic gift, find an anonymous, heartfelt valentine in their locker, or experience a magical date. Younger kids may not be ready for ‘love’ yet, but they too have Valentine’s Day expectations. In fact, in elementary school, kids sometimes rate their own popularity based on how many Valentines they receive. Of course, there are a lucky few for whom these expectations are met. However, for the vast majority of kids, Valentine’s Day is disappointing and sometimes even emotionally painful (for example, when the guy a girl ‘loves’ gives a valentine to her best friend).

Although the reality of Valentine’s Day is sometimes less fun than anticipated, there are important ways that you can help your child manage her expectations as well cope with any unavoidable disappointment. In fact, Valentine’s Day will of course not be the only disappointment that your child experiences in his life, so this is an opportunity to teach him important skills that he can use at other times.
 

1. Stick to the Facts 

Educate your child about how Valentine’s Day is an enormous money-maker for retailers. Explain in age-appropriate terms the ways in which targeted advertising and the availability of Valentine’s products can make us believe that Valentine’s Day is much more important than we might have felt otherwise. Teach your child that in all cases, the goal of advertising is to try to sway our opinions.