Splitsville: Ending A Relationship

A recent post by one of our favorite blogs, Mommyish.

Parenting is difficult, we all know that. It adds a new layer of complication when you have to negotiate and compromise with another person. Another person who you used to sleep with. But to begin, we need to look at how things end.

Sorry, I love an obvious play-on-words. Ending a relationship when you have a child is a lot more complex than just changing your Facebook status. There’s no way to split up and never speak again or pretend to be pleasantly nonchalant if you bump into them while shopping for groceries. When parents part, they have to find a way to communicate and work together for the good of their children. It takes a lot of time, thought and rational conversation. Which is exactly what my relationships normally end with, rational conversations. Break-ups in general lend themselves to logic and communication, I think.

I’m not going to give anyone reasons or how-to’s on deciding to leave your partner. That’s a personal decision and it’s impossible to explain or judge. We all have our own stories. Whether you wanted the split or your significant other decided, whether it was amicable or bitter, the whole thing is emotionally devastating. Personally, I wrote at least 20 “break-up letters” to my boyfriend before I actually ended our relationship. I cried. I stressed. I agonized. It was the most difficult decision of my life. But one night, I took my infant daughter to my parents house and I sat down to end my relationship with her father.

I won’t tell you if you should break-up, but I do have some advice for how it can be done with minimal damage.

Continue reading at Mommyish

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