What... (i.e. camp, dance class, birthday party)
Pick a NYMetroParents Region: All Regions   Manhattan    Brooklyn    Queens    Westchester    Rockland   Fairfield    Nassau    Suffolk  




     Home  >  Articles  > News & Tips: Services
by Laurie Puhn

Related: parenting advice for working moms, how parents can ask for help, concerns on hiring a new nanny,

Parenting columnist Laurie Puhn, who is also a couples mediator, shares why sending a particular email is a must for working mothers.

It's something every working mother fears, that her new or long-term babysitter or nanny could be neglectful or even abusive to her kids. Does the nanny leave the toddler alone in the den for hours while she is watching TV, on the phone or napping? Does she have a short fuse and yell at the child without reason? Does she give unwarranted punishments? Does she break play dates and drag the child around for hours to do personal errands?

Working WomanI know many mothers and caring nannies who have witnessed inappropriate behavior by other nannies they know on the playground, at a play date, in stores or at school, but have chosen to keep their mouths shut out of fear or anxiety about how their comments might be received by the child's parent.

The witnessing mom might reluctantly accept the misbehaving nanny's behavior by thinking, “She didn't actually hit the child, she was only rude and short-tempered, so I don't have to say anything”, or “She was on the phone and wasn't watching him at the playground, but since he didn't get hurt, I don't have to get involved.”  Be honest, I am sure you have observed some "nanny actions" that disturbed you and made you fearful for the child's safety and health, yet you decided to keep silent.

So today, in the best interests of children everywhere and as a couples mediator, parenting columnist and author of the bestseller, Fight Less, Love More, I have a very important suggestion for all working moms: Take charge! Establish a new line of communication with people who observe the relationship between your nanny and your children when you are not around. 

Encourage others to tell you what they see and hear. How do you do this? Send an email similar to the one below to people you trust who come in regular contact with your child and nanny, such as other parents, your neighbors, the teachers at daycare, school, or at your child's gym class, etc. Whether you have a new nanny or had the same one for years, change the email to suit your needs.

Hi everyone-

As many of you have probably seen, we recently hired a new nanny, [name]. Please feel free to reach out to her to set up play dates.

Also -- please let me know if you ever observe anything good, or bad, about our new nanny and her relationship with my kids. Since I'm at work and am not around to see what's going on in the normal course of the day, I would sincerely welcome any feedback.

Thank you!

Jane Smith
cell: xxx-xxx-xxxx
email: youremail@xxxx.com

"Anyone who does anything to help a child in his life is a hero to me." – Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers)

Laurie Puhn is a Harvard-educated lawyer, couples mediator and bestselling author of “Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In,” who appears on Good Morning America, 20/20, Fox News and CNN. Her book is the basis of a 9-week nationwide course for couples to help them improve their marriage. Most importantly, she is a wife and mother to two young children. Visit her site at fightlesslovemore.com.

Get a free whine stopper

Receive our weekly highlights newsletter · Over 1,000 local activities

More News & Tips: Services Articles

Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF
How to Soothe a Camera-Shy Child
10 Things to Do if Your Pet is Lost
Survey Shows Strong Tie Between Physical and Digital Security Risks
Ask the Expert: Do You Recommend Mediation for Divorcing Parents of a Child with Special Needs?

Be a good fellow parent and share this with a friend who would be interested
Email Friend

Local News & Tips: Services Sponsors

Smiles N Styles
951 Wyckoff Ave. (Corner of Weirfield Street)
Ridgewood, New York
718-326-1122; Spanish: 718-326-1133
Smiles N Styles is an amazing place to celebrate y...

Kids in Sports
1420 Second Ave. (at East 74th Street)
New York, NY

Williamsburg Northside Preschool
152 N 5th St
Brooklyn, 718-599-7300
Williamsburg Northside schools are inspired by the...

Dwight School
291 Central Park West
New York, NY
Dwight School, an internationally renowned indepen...

Island Hills Stables
26 Rocky Point Road
Middle Island, NY
We offer expert horseback riding lessons for child...
See Our News & Tips: Services Directory

local zones


Nassau cont.


Suffolk cont.


Westchester cont.



Rockland cont.


Queens cont.


Brooklyn cont.


Copyright 2015 NY Metro Parents Magazine Site Design: THE VOICE