What... (i.e. camp, dance class, birthday party)
        
 
Pick a NYMetroParents Region: All Regions   Manhattan    Brooklyn    Queens    Westchester    Rockland   Fairfield    Nassau    Suffolk  

Resources

   

OFF TO A GREAT START!

     Home  >  Articles  > Education
by Ann Dunnewold, Ph.D.

Related:



1.  Remember that your child's teacher is not the enemy.Work to develop a collaborative, not antagonistic relationship, by communicating your child’s needs in a straightforward way — offering  practical help in the classroom when possible, and above all, recognizing and respecting the teacher’s expertise. You are on the same team, working for your child’s success. Join with and listen to the teacher — you might learn something new about your child.

 
2.  Teach personal responsibility. Announce to your kids that they are now responsible for remembering their own lunches, backpacks, homework. Give one reminder — no more — and let them learn this most valuable life lesson.  Don’t bale them out, running to school with forgotten items. You won’t be there to remind them about college commitments. Lay the groundwork for lifelong personal responsibility with this new school year.
 
3.   Say ‘no’ and mean it. Be firm about how much is too much for your kids. Your child may come to you on a daily basis with requests for an iPhone, laptop, credit card, etc., but it is up to you to set clear boundaries and not to over-indulge.  If they really "need" that digital camera or designer handbag, talk with them about various ways they can earn money — either around the house or getting a job — toward buying it themselves.
 
4.  Parenting is not a competition. The fact that your neighbor’s daughter is in competitive dance classes and your daughter is not means nothing. Connect with other parents by commiserating over your stresses — we all have them — not by tallying your child’s achievements.  Less stress for everyone will result.
 
5.  Understand that your child is the one in school — not you. Guide your child in setting up a system for organizing her backpack or effectively completing his homework. If parents want children to learn, kids need to complete schoolwork on their own.
 
6.  Celebrate the accomplishments of your child — realistically.  If your child gets a B, be proud. Praise what concepts your child mastered, rather than making the letter grade the pinnacle of success. Don’t jump immediately into why the grade was not an A. This devalues the work that was done and implies that only perfect matters. 
 
7.  Keep a rational perspective. Is every moment or social activity critical to your child’s happy life? Will failure to make the select squad ruin your child’s prospects of success as an adult? Will missing the fifth birthday party in one weekend — so you can have some family time or some sleep — turn your child into a pariah? The answer is no, of course. Sometimes parents can calm themselves down by engaging in a simple, sensible dialogue in their heads. 
 
8.  Define your family values. If caring about others is the ideal you most want to instill, allot time for volunteer work as part of your regularly scheduled activities. If faith is the key factor in your family life, ensure that your weekly itinerary allows time for religious practice or community work.
 
9.  Encourage your child to be himself. Accept his/her unique mix of strengths and flaws. Not all children excel at math or soccer.  Help your child find and foster her unique talents and define success on her terms — not by what you wish you had done or what her siblings or friends do. 
 
10.  Stay level-headed about school — and teach your child to do the same. Yes, good grades are important.  But one or two Cs will not wreck his chances at college. While education is important, so is a balanced life, with time to ride bikes and hang upside down from a tree in the park.


ANN DUNNEWOLD, Ph.D., is a psychologist specializing  in the issues of women and mothers. She is a nationally recognized expert on postpartum depression and anxiety, and the author of “The Postpartum Survival Guide” and the recently released book, “Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box: Cut Yourself Some Slack (and Still Raise Great Kids) in the Age of Extreme Parenting” (Health Communications, Inc.).


Get Your FREE Indoor Activity eGuide!

More Education Articles

How to Prevent a Homework Meltdown
Literacy Resources in the New York Metro Area
Literacy Resources in Nassau County, Long Island
Literacy Resources in Suffolk County, Long Island
Literacy Resources in Queens

Be a good fellow parent and share this with a friend who would be interested
Email Friend

Local Education Sponsors

Alliance Francaise of Greenwich
299 Greenwich Ave., 2nd Fl.
Greenwich, CT
203-629-1340
Founded in 1918 as a non-profit organization, the ...

Lango Kids, NYC
93 3rd
Brooklyn, NY
917-300-8789
Lango Brooklyn offers Spanish and Mandarin immersi...

Language Workshop for Children
Manhattan, Upper East Side, and Manhasset, LI
212-628-2700
The Language Workshop for Children is the oldest a...

German School of Connecticut (The)
Rippowam Middle School, 381 High Ridge Road
Stamford, CT
203-548-0438
We put the Fun in learning. With our dedicated pr...

Collina Italiana
1556 Third Ave. (at 87th Street), Suite 603
New York, NY
212-427-7770
Collina Italiana is an Italian Language and Cultur...
See Our Education Directory

local zones

Nassau

Nassau cont.

Suffolk

Suffolk cont.

Westchester

Westchester cont.

Fairfield

Rockland

Rockland cont.

Queens

Queens cont.

Brooklyn

Brooklyn cont.

Manhattan

Copyright 2014 NY Metro Parents Magazine Site Design: THE VOICE