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Diane Chambers Shearer

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Divorce Your Children!
by Diane Chambers Shearer - September 21, 2003

“My 16-year-old daughter and I are best friends,” boasts a single mom, divorced for three years. “When I’m having a bad day, she’s always there for me. When she’s down, I like that she comes to me first for help. I’m really lucky.” This sounds good on the surface, but is it really healthy? No, say most parenting experts. The danger in fostering this kind of relationship with a child may not be evident in the younger years, but as kids enter their late teen years, parental friendships can cause teens undue emancipation issues.


Celebrating the holidays - in two households
by Diane Chambers Shearer - December 21, 1999

Ever noticed that just as you've paid off last year's holiday bills, you start getting inundated with Christmas catalogs and commercials again? The kids are making wish lists, and you smile nervously, assuring them it doesn't hurt to ask Santa, "but don't expect too much."


Don't compete, don't compare - just be there
by Diane Chambers Shearer - June 21, 2000

Yet some of the best parents I know are single - maybe because they tend to overcompensate for the lack of a partner. In the process, they often try to do too much to prove to themselves, their kids, and the world that they really are capable of being good parents, despite the stereotypes that characterize single-parent families as "broken homes". Consequently, many single parents suffer from what I call "statistic-itis" - the obsessive desire to prove wrong the negative statistics about single parents.


From Negative to Positive: Three Attitudes toward Change
by Diane Chambers Shearer - March 21, 2003

Single parents seem to be prone to a myriad of negative experiences and attitudes — usually because of how they come about their single parent status. Anyone acquiring the role because of divorce, death or unexpected pregnancy comes to single-parenthood with a certain amount of negative imbalance.


Dating Again: Where Do the Kids Fit In?
by Diane Chambers Shearer - October 21, 2002

The excitement of developing new relationships with men was somehow dampened by the sense that I was a parent burdened with astronomical responsibilities — and that I was 10 times more cynical than I had been 15 years prior! Nevertheless, dating and socializing were important ingredients on my journey of post-divorce personal growth. But once I eased back into the dating scene, I realized there were many questions about how to integrate this part of my life with the parental role that dominated my existence.


How To Rebuild Trust After It's Broken: Life After Divorce
by Diane Chambers Shearer - September 21, 2002

Since most divorces occur after a major breakdown in trust and respect, it is not surprising that two parents who can no longer live together will continue to have trust issues with each other after the divorce. This can cause a series of unhealthy disappointments for both parents and their children if steps are not taken to at least try to build up a minimal level of trust.



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