Remembering One Mother's Legacy

Everyone has a story to tell, especially when it comes to their mothers. What we often forget, however, is how vital it is to hear these stories.  Mom: A Celebration of Mothers from StoryCorps, now out in paperback, editor and StoryCorps founder Dave Isay gathers an array of voices from around the country that showcase the diversity of experiences that make up motherhood. Derived from everyday memories, the conversations reveal universal truths about parenting and the bond of child and mother.

As Isay’s own mother, Jane Isay, wrote in an online review of her son’s book—not surprisingly, unabashedly positive—“If you are thinking about a gift for your mom on Mother’s Day, this is an easy home run, and if you are a mom who doesn’t get this book in May, go out and buy one for yourself.”

Here, get a taste for the types of stories included, and perhaps pick up some pointers for encouraging your kids to maintain friendships and help you be a stabilizing force in their lives.

Leah Haseley, 43, talks to her brother, Jonathan Schachter of Brooklyn, 46, about their mother, Frances Fuchs Schachter. Leah is a physician and a mother of three children of her own.

Leah’s Story

I have so many memories of Mom that make me smile.

I really miss her when I pick up the children from school, because she used to love picking me up from school. I remember it very clearly, coming down the ramp out of school and her having this big grin on her face because she got to pick me up. I would go running to her. My younger one still does that for me.
I remember her teaching me to drive around the neighborhood, and all of a sudden I drove up onto a curb. Mom got out of the car, giggled, and looked at the teenagers nearby and said, “She’s learning to drive.” I had driven completely onto the curb, and rather than yell at me, she had this positive, funny approach to it. The next time I got in the car, I drove very slowly, and I said, “I’m nervous.” Rather than tell me to relax, she sat up and said, “Good. You should be nervous! This is a very dangerous thing to be doing.” And to this day I still use that. I used it in the hospital a few weeks ago. I was working with a very good resident who I was training to do a procedure, and he looked up at me, and he said, “I’m nervous.” I said, “Good. You should be nervous! It’s a dangerous thing to do.” And actually, I think that helped him relax. I think it helps to have your nervousness understood. I’m sure when I teach my children to drive, I’ll miss her like crazy.

Whenever I’m having difficulty with one of the children, I often think, What would Mom say to do in this situation? Some of the things that Mom told me I use a lot with my kids. One is, Mom always used to say, “You be the one.” You be the one to make up with a friend or to reach out and break the silence between you. So whenever one of the kids announces that he had a fight with another child at school and he’s not talking to them, I always say, “That’s not going to help you at all. You be the one to reach out and try to connect with your friend again.” The other thing Mom used to say was, “If you’re ever on the fence about whether to stay home or to go somewhere,” she used to say, “just go!” So I say that to the kids whenever they’re torturing themselves about any kind of decision that they have.