How to Potty Train Your Child

Getting your kids out of diapers can be a frustrating—but ultimately rewarding—task. Here’s how to make the experience as smooth as possible.

By Barbara Russo March 28, 2019

Potty training is a big step in your child’s development. It’s a very important milestone for both you and your toddler. But how do you know it’s time for your little one to make the transition from diapers to toilet? We spoke to some potty-training experts, and they agree that watching for the signs is key.

“The biggest factor contributing to the success of potty training is the readiness of the child. The average age of readiness varies between twenty-two and thirty months,” says Devan Van Lanen-Wanek, M.D., of Cohen Children’s Medical Center in New Hyde Park. “Some subtle signs that your kid wants to learn how to use the toilet are showing interest in other people’s bathroom habits and expressing disgust at their dirty diapers.”

Additionally, your child needs to be able to hold her bodily functions, communicate her need to go, undress and redress, and wash her hands on her own, Dr. Van Lanen-Wanek says.

So now that you established a solid foundation of readiness, here are some tips to keep in mind for making the potty-training experience a smooth one for both you and your child.

Don’t Force It

Pressuring your child to begin potty training before he’s ready can be disastrous. “One study found that initiation of toilet training before twenty-seven months was not associated with earlier completion of toilet training success,” Dr. Van Lanen-Wanek says. “This suggests there is little benefit to starting before this age.”

Don’t Get Frustrated

Keep in mind that the process of potty training can take a long time and have many ups and downs.

“The average length of toilet training is six to seven months, tends to be longer for boys than girls, and also longer in first-born children than subsequent children,” Dr. Van Lanen-Wanek says. “Remember that every kid is unique and develops at their own pace.”

Be Consistent

Once you make the move to diapers, it’s important not to go back, says Wendy Goldstein, a teacher at the 92Y Parenting Center in Manhattan.

“Know that there will be accidents, and it’s not a big deal,” Goldstein says. “When a child does have an accident, it helps her understand what it’s like to be wet. The goal is to try to get her to understand what’s happening. Children don’t generally like the feeling of being wet, so this trains them for what their bodies need.”

Jody Bernstein, another teacher at the 92Y Parenting Center, adds that when accidents do happen, encourage your child to help you clean up.

“You may need to set aside some time to focus on toilet training for a weekend or holiday break,” Bernstein suggests. “Stay close to home as you work on this. Let your child be naked or wear just underpants.”

Make a Tool Kit

One of the biggest challenges of potty training is figuring out how to prevent accidents. They’re messy, time-consuming situations that no parent is thrilled to deal with.

“To alleviate this, parents need to make sure they have all the supplies needed to be successful, as well as a clear plan of action before they begin, rather than the ‘let’s just wing it’ approach,” says Kaylee Sallak, founder of Parenting Made Joyful Lifestyle, and teacher of parenting classes at Buy Buy Baby.

Sallak recommends the following supplies for your tool kit:

A small potty chair
An insert for the big potty
A squatty potty stool to go under a big potty
Thick cloth underwear
Lose pants that have no zippers or buttons
A timer
Potty books
Potty songs
Tangible rewards (like candy)
Cleaning supplies ready for messes
Plastic bags with you always
Spare clothes with you always

And as for the plan of action? “It needs to be decided upon ahead of time and agreed upon by both parents and any caregiver so there is consistency across the board,” Sallak says. “Whatever approach is selected, it should be a solid three days of no plans whatsoever to focus completely on getting a strong start to potty training.”

Bedtime Considerations

Nighttime should have special considerations, according to the experts. Craig Hammond, founder and CEO of Peejamas, functional pajamas designed to eliminate the need for nighttime diapers, recommends establishing a routine at night that includes going to the bathroom before bed and limiting fluid intake in the evening.

“Parents don't need to force their child to completely fast from water or fluids at night, but definitely start winding it down after dinner,” Hammond says. “This helps to limit fluid building in the bladder, potentially leading to a release during the night. Coupled with the routine of going potty prior to bed, this will help your child learn.”

Hammond also recommends—if possible—not using a diaper at night, just as your child wouldn’t in the day time during potty training.

“Putting a child back in a diaper during the night, is inconsistent and contrary to the daytime training recommendations,” Hammond says. “Of course, this can lead to potential messes, which there are solutions to avoid that, and may not be realistic for children with individual needs. But if you can do it, it is a much better way to help them really nail the nighttime phase of potty training.”

Potty training your child can be fun and rewarding, but as with all things, should you have any concerns or questions, call your child’s doctor or health-care provider.

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