Don’t Clear the Coffee Table!

In preparation for their babies learning to crawl and pull themselves up, parents fervently ‘baby-proof’ their homes. But the picture frames and vases adorning the coffee table may be some of the most interesting items in baby’s line of vision, and he is bound to want to explore this new-found cornucopia of shiny and enticing objects. It is admittedly difficult to resist the inclination to remove anything breakable or decorative. However, if you do, although you will ensure that your favorite book will not be used as a teether, you will also be doing your child an injustice. He will not learn to appreciate and respect special or fragile items. Bronxville residents Rebecca Rather and her husband, who have three boys ages four, two, and six months, made a conscious decision not to childproof their whole house. Although they removed dangerous or irreplaceable items, they left books and other adult objects at their children’s level and taught their boys how to handle them. “I think it’s good for kids to learn self-control,” Rebecca says. Your baby’s increasing mobility does not have to spell disaster for your household. Consider the many benefits of keeping some of the items accessible to your children.

Everything is an adventure Parents share the potential nightmare of their child breaking something while visiting a friend or relative’s home. Since the world is not baby-proofed, children who have not been taught how to be careful will not know what to do when they are visiting someone who hasn’t cleared everything off their tables. Because they’ve been raised in a world free of tempting magazines to drop on the floor, they’ll expect everyone’s home to offer the same environment. To a young child, every new location is an opportunity for adventure — which could become stressful for Mom and Dad. Those raised in a home where they are taught that some things are not for touching will have the experience of knowing how to approach the situation in other people’s homes.

Reinforcing their instincts Because it is a natural instinct for young children to want to examine and understand everything in front of them, you can foster their curiosity without removing everything from their path. Encourage your baby to sit with you and help you hold the items from the table. Use phrases and words that reinforce his aptitude and stress the appropriate actions. Saying, “Look how you’re so gentle,” instead of, “No, no! Don’t touch that,” teaches your child that you trust him and fosters his respect and inquisitive nature. If you know your baby adores looking at a particular item, take a few minutes each day to sit quietly with her. Hold her hand as she passes it along the edges of picture frames and ceramic objects. She will delight at your willingness to allow her to touch holiday ornaments or decorative pieces. Explain the origin of the special vase, or who the people are in the pictures your toddler loves to examine. Allowing children as young as six months old to help you hold the object of their fascination will develop not only their respect for the item, but their motor coordination and self esteem as well. Rebecca admits that you must do this repeatedly before children learn and that it is difficult at first. It helps to offer them things they are allowed to touch freely because, as she notes, “It is important to say ‘yes’ a lot as well as ‘no’.” Of course, if your child is set on touching something that is irreplaceable or potentially harmful, you must use age-appropriate caution, perhaps substituting a less valuable or dangerous item for him to admire. Over time, the fascination with the vase full of flowers will subside and your child will no longer pay attention to the items on your tables. He will have learned how to address his innate curiosity and will understand that if he asks you to see something, you’ll respect him enough to show him. When Rebecca takes her children to other people’s homes or stores now, she does not have to worry that they will get into something they shouldn’t. “I warn them not to touch beforehand, so they know what to expect. And they will ask for my permission before they touch something,” she says. When a child is raised with a cautious and respectful understanding of how to investigate what interests him, he will adjust more readily to varied surroundings. His independence and confidence will grow as he becomes aware of how to appreciate things that are cherished without destroying them. And he will be less likely to touch everything within his grasp outside of his home because he has been taught to respect the things inside his home.

Childproofing Musts Whether you clear your coffee table or not, there are some common sense and some not-so-obvious childproofing precautions that parents must take to keep children safe. Following are recommendations from the American Red Cross and David Sarner, president of Childproofers, Inc., in Mamaroneck:

– Put gates at the top and bottom of all stairs. – Never leave children or infants alone where there is a danger of falling. – Install safety latches on the doors of all cabinets and vanities, especially those that contain chemicals or breakable glassware. – Use toilet lid locks. – Never leave children unobserved around water, whether it’s a swimming pool, bathtub or bucket, as children can drown in as little as two inches of water. – Cover electric sockets, not with the cheap plastic outlet covers that choke more children than they save from electrocution, but with sliding outlet covers that change the face plate with a sliding door. – Remove all chemicals from under the sink and be aware that mops, sponges, toilet brushes, etc., have chemicals on them which children might access. – Keep chemicals and medications locked away, out of children’s reach. – Open windows from the top down and use window stops that limit the window opening to four inches. Be sure they can be overridden in an emergency however, in case you need to escape from the window. – Don’t put a changing table or crib next to a window. – Make sure cords on window blinds are not accessible to a child. Cut excess cord and wrap it around a cleat screwed into the window sash. For continuous loop cords, get a kit to anchor the cord to the wall. – Don’t keep the baby monitor too close to the crib. Children have been known to grab the cord, teeth on it and get electrocuted. – Keep small objects out of baby’s reach. Older children’s toys, with all their small parts, are particularly dangerous to infants and toddlers. – Keep sharp objects and dangerous tools out of children’s reach. – In the kitchen, turn the handles of pots and pans on the stove inward so that children cannot reach them. – Keep the temperature of your hot water below 120° F by turning down your hot water heater thermostat. – Never keep guns in any childcare setting.

While these childproofing measures will keep most children safe until age 2 or 2 1/2, Sarner advises that, after that, parents should consider anchoring the furniture to the floor to safeguard against children who are climbers.