What Do YOU Want to Be When You Grow Up?

"I'm failing," Kate* confessed. The smart, first-year college student sank into the chair with a look of shame and disappointment. As Kate’s academic counselor, I learned that she was failing, not because she wasn't studying or understanding the material, but because she didn't like biology — and it was her major! So why was she studying something she hated? Kate wanted to please her parents, it turned out. Her well-intentioned mom and dad had taken an active, directive role in her career selection. Wanting the best for her, Kate's parents had decided that a pre-med track would be a promising career path. The only problem was that Kate herself never explored what she truly wanted to do — or didn't want to do, for that matter.

There are many college students like Kate, as well as others who seem to flounder around, class after class, major after major. These indecisive students also have very caring parents, but ones who have often chosen a hands-off approach to their child's career development. Research has shown that parents and guardians are the number one influence on a student's career choice. Even though it may seem that your children aren't listening to you half the time, they continuously look to you as a role model as they try to navigate the maze of career choices. Parents are faced with the challenge of finding the right balance — offering direction without being controlling, and offering freedom of choice without seeming too casual.

Parents can provide their children with gentle guidance early on by helping them with self-exploration, an understanding of the world of work, and to start thinking about plans and decisions.

Childhood: The Power of Play

It's never too early to help children think about their futures. Career theorist Eli Ginzberg suggests that up to the age of 12, children are in the "fantasy stage" of career development as they fantasize about the world of work through play and artwork. Full of energy and creativity, young children are at the perfect stage to begin career exploration. Their active imaginations enable them to create make-believe situations that provide a great opportunity to test out work-related roles.

As a parent, you can nurture this natural curiosity by providing toys, books, and videos that promote career exploration and role-playing. For example, when my god-daughter requested a Barbie doll for her birthday, I discovered a line of career Barbies. Since she seemed to have an interest in the arts, I selected the "art teacher Barbie" and she loved it! It was a great way for me to let her know that I recognize and support her unique interests.

As your child grows, encourage him to participate in hobbies and after-school activities. Be careful not to push too hard. The key is to pay attention to your child's natural strengths and interests in school and the types of activities that he likes to do. For example, if your child gets excited about science projects, support this interest by providing resources and opportunities to further engage in science activities. Be generous with your praise when you notice a new interest or activity that he has done well.