Maybe Just a Treat

Halloween tricks can be fun for adults, but unless parents teach appreciation and empathy, their kids might not understand the spirit of the season’s trickery. Dr. Susan Bartell provides tips to remind children how to be gracious and focus on the holiday's treats.

Everyone looks forward to Halloween, kids and parents alike. It’s all about dressing up and candy—what could be bad? But, there is one small part of Halloween that has always bothered me: the ‘trick’ part. For older kids and teens, the interpretation of ‘tricking’ can turn into egging cars, toilet-papering neighbors’ homes, and occasionally even more serious behavior. Younger kids typically don’t focus on the ‘trick’ part, but they know it exists, and I often hear them talking about how they might ‘trick’ a neighbor that didn’t give a good enough treat or didn’t open the door for trick or treaters.

You might be thinking that I am just being negative, but the truth is that the ‘trick’ part of Halloween can teach your child that when you don’t get exactly what you want, it’s okay to be angry or upset and to retaliate in a way that may be hurtful. It’s time to shift this way of thinking, not only about Halloween, but any time that life doesn’t go exactly as your child would like it to go. 

So, how can Halloween help us teach kids to appreciate what they do get, to tolerate not always getting exactly what they want, and, especially, to not become angry or vindictive with someone for not giving them what they want? I have four ideas that you can try this Halloween—and keep using them all year long!

1. Teach manners. Before heading out to trick-or-treat, tell your child that you expect her to smile and say thank you to every single person that offers a treat—regardless of whether she likes it. Be sure to reinforce this courtesy along your route.

2. Teach appreciation. Monitor your child to make sure that she takes only one piece of candy from the bowl that is offered. Remind him that the person had to spend their money to purchase the treats and that they need to have enough for all the children that come to the door.