Ask the Expert: Braces, Bullying, and Self-Esteem

Kids having braces is a common thing these days, so why are they still being bullied? We spoke to Jill M. Emanuele, Ph.D., from the Anxiety and Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute to find out why and how we can help build kids' self-esteem.

Kids can choose different colored bands for their braces to show off their personality.

With braces being a fairly common need in teens and tweens, why do some kids still feel self-conscious or get bullied for having them?

I think it’s the way that braces are different. In our society, particularly in that age group, how people look really relates directly to their popularity. And a good chunk of kids want to be popular. Their self-consciousness comes from the fear of whether they will be popular because now there’s something making them look different. I think that some kids take advantage of this by pointing out these differences and bullying those children with braces.

A lot of people get braces and want to hide them—a fact that our culture has embraced and has come up with invisible options such as Invisalign. We want kids to be proud and show their braces off. We want them to put it right out there and say, “Yep, I have braces. I’m proud of them. They are going to make my teeth healthy and look great.” There is a website (girlswithbraces.co) where there are pictures of girls with big smiles showing off their braces. Their approach is having braces is a positive thing rather than hiding in fear.

If a kid gets braces and approaches it with fear and wants to hide, other kids pick up on that fear and that’s where a lot of the teasing really comes in and it really erodes their self-esteem.

How can I help boost my child’s self-esteem when she has braces or if my child needs braces, but we can’t afford them?

Parents are always looking for different ways to boost self-esteem. Modeling for your child is the number-one way. How you view the situation is predictive of how they will view the situation. Saying, Yeah, you look ugly or You are going to be different, and you have to hide this because kids are going to make fun of you—let’s do something different with your hair is not the approach you should take. The correct approach is to really model self-acceptance (You have crooked teeth, it’s who you are right now.), and for the child to really be able to say, I have crooked teeth right now, and perhaps I’ll get braces down the road to fix them.